Encouragement · Marriage

Marriage+Counseling

Marriage.

It’s incredibly hard. It’s beautiful. It’s fun. It’s all the things. 

I love my marriage.

As a child of divorce, I knew I wanted my marriage to last.

I needed it to but I little did I know how much work went into having a healthy, long-lasting marriage.

I got married very young. I had just turned 20 years old and I was still figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I was new to adulthood and clearly had a lot of growing up to do. Also, we had no idea what we were signing up for when we exchanged our “I do’s” and the big dreams God would later call us to.

Speaking of, let’s add three kids to the equation, a couple of moves, and some big life changes. It’s been ten years. We have accomplished a lot in these ten years. It may not seem that long to some but to me it feels like a huge accomplishment. I am proud of where we are and how we have both grown over the years.

I have grown personally in big ways. When we first got married I was very broken and I carried a lot of my past and insecurities into my marriage. This caused a ripple effect that I was not expecting. I didn’t realize how much I needed healing until I was 25 and a counselor mentioned my name with the word depression along side it. I needed help.  

I’ve been in a healing process for 6 years now. I am in a way better place than I used to be. Counseling now includes Robbie and I. Going together every other month has become our norm. At the end of the day, we understand marriage is a commitment. And with every commitment comes hard work and dedication.

In no way do we have it all together, but perhaps we are grasping things better than we used to when it comes to understanding one another.

One thing is for certain: we will never stop growing. As our life changes, we change. As our kids get older, our seasons change. Sometimes it’s hard to manage the change in ourselves, the constant change around us, and manage our marriage at the same. This is why we prioritize counseling and a few things have changed in our day-to-day in a good way.

We laugh more.

We serve each other better than we used to.

I say sorry more and I am more willing to “drop the rope”. (I used to hate saying sorry and I would defend, defend, defend. I still do this sometimes.)

We have become a stronger team when life gets hard.

It all sounds very simple but we have fought to get where we are. Changing habits, bettering ourselves, and establishing unity in our marriage has created a ripple effect. Small changes have the power to change your marriage for the better. I’ve seen it. These changes have made a lasting impact in how we communicate and treat one another. 

Our story isn’t over yet. Who knows what is down the road and the exciting, hard adventures God will call us too. I know we are ready.  I am excited to find out what’s next with my person. With him, I feel like I can accomplish anything. 

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