Things are different now. Foster Care has taken a pause in our lives and we are transitioning to the feeling of permanency in our home now that Ahngel’s adoption is finalized. We can all officially move forward without the involvement of so many people checking in along with the weekly meetings. We can create a new normal while some things still remain the same. I am anticipating our schedules feeling lighter and being able to work through our junk together without having to report every little thing to the foster care system.

My hope is to see healing in the coming months.

My hope is that we will grow closer to one another.

My hope is that God will move in our family.

My hope is to see acceptance and closeness become a reality.

Am I wishing and hoping for too much? These are the doubts that creep in.

My current motto is to take one day at a time. And with that I am choosing to trust God no matter what and to not look too far ahead into the future. 

This is a daily choice.

Choosing to trust God and lean on Him despite the odds is something I’ve learned more intensely these past two years. Some days this choice doesn’t come naturally to me, if I am being honest. 

Yet, every day I have a choice to make. Will I let these situations overwhelm me? And sometimes they do. Or will I choose to surrender this hardship to the Lord? I can place it in His hands and remember He is the one who is ultimately in control of the outcome.

Some days I get tired. I get discouraged and attempt to either take control or avoid the frustrations. I’ll either distract myself or respond in ways I regret. I have control over the choices I make. This is the same thing we tell our children. 

I don’t know what is ahead but in this moment, right now, I can choose to trust. I can release control and let God be God. I trust that he will teach us more in these coming months. I assume there will be more hardships that we will face but right now, I’m taking one day at a time. 

“Yet I call this to mind, and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness! I say, “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in him.” Lamentations 3:21-24