“Sometimes I feel guilty about leaving especially when we are all home together.”
I shared this with my husband right after he encouraged me to get out of the house and take some time to myself.
A ton of snowed just recently hit Asheville and we had been stuck inside for three days. Our boys had a lot of built up energy and I just needed a second alone. I wanted to got to a coffee shop and write but I felt so guilty about leaving.
Mom guilt is the worst. Can I get a fist bump anyone?
I thought that if I left I would be denying my family quality time and it was selfish of me to get away at a coffee shop for a few hours.
I worked past the lie and got my hiney to the coffee shop. I knew I needed it. I gave in even though I was a little resistant at first. After I went, drank my coffee, and wrote I felt so refreshed. I took care of myself and came back as a happier wife and more patient mom.
Self-care can be so hard as a mom. Finding the time, pushing past the mom guilt, and feeling like it’s just not worth the work to take care of ourselves can be so frustrating.
Many of us are tired. We want the time alone. We need the time alone to get recharged but making the time and finding the time is only half the battle. We have a mental battle with feeling guilt and it doesn’t help our efforts for self-care one bit.
Sweet mama friend, I want to encourage you today with 4 ways to help you make time for self-care. Self-care is so important. Why is it important you may ask? Our bodies and our minds need the space and time to recharge, to feel like ourselves again, to feel rejuvenated. Often times we get bogged down by stress, responsibilities, and we forget take care of what’s important; ourselves. Do people often complain when they take time for themselves? No way! Well then, what can we do?
- Put it on the calendar. However taking care of yourself looks like–schedule it! I have a friend who loves to go get her eyebrows done. She goes when her kids are in preschool and she is consistent about it too. I always notice how happy she is after getting them done plus they look really good. Taking care of yourself can become a priority. Just like our families are our number one priorities may we make this time a responsibility for ourselves.
- Find Your Outlet. What fuels you? What gives you energy? What makes you feel refreshed. Once you have scheduled your self-care time, find out what best fuels you. Is it getting your hair done? Meeting a friend for coffee? Is it exercising? Now that the kids are in school I have been asking myself these questions too.
- Ditch the Mom Guilt. I say it often and I said it before, mom guilt is a derivative of the comparison game, thoughts that we think, and the lies that we believe in. There is no time for mom guilt whatsoever when it comes to self-care. I am preaching to myself here. Mom guilt steals our joy and steals our thunder. Remember to push past these lies when making time for yourself. They will often times become a hindrance. Just like we want to support our kiddos in their endeavors, don’t you think our children will support us in the things we too love to do?
- Support your spouse in self-care too. My husband works really hard. I bet yours does too. Just like we desire for the time alone, they have those same desires. One of the things Robbie and I do often is allow one another to make time for ourselves. I can be stubborn sometimes and complain that I don’t need it but Robbie sees how good it is for me so he pushes me every time. I am thankful for his efforts so I try to do the same. I know he loves to go mountain biking. It helps him get into his “nothing box” and zone out so I try to encourage him to do the things he loves because I know it’s good for him. When we support our spouse in self-care it’s amazing to see the ripple effect and how it affects your relationship with one another.
The way we take care of ourselves may change as our lives change but making it a priority is essential to so much of what we do. Self-care affects our happiness, our mindsets, and our relationships.
Now promise me the next time you leave the eyebrow boutique or the coffee shop you walk with a little more pep in your step because you took time for yourself. It’s a good thing and it’s healthy! Work it! Now, doesn’t that feel good?