I felt it in my stomach. It wasn’t a cramp or a stomach ache. It was a sharp pain. I hadn’t felt this feeling since February but I knew exactly what it was. It was my body’s way of saying, “Hey, something is not right.”
ANXIETY IS A (insert cuss word).
I’m sure I’m not the only one in NC that felt anxiety yesterday after the governor shared the news for the 2020-2021 school year. My body was quickly reacting while my brain was still processing the information I was receiving. It’s funny how our bodies do this. I’m a planner but the plans for Fall feel uncertain. I love details but the details about what’s next seem blurred. Fear began to develop in me and my stomach began to grow tighter. For the first time in awhile, God’s peace felt like it was drifting from me and anxiety was taking it’s place.
Today I’m reminding myself to stop, pause, breathe, and pray. This isn’t a Christian cop out. These are the tools I’ve found that help me in the moment. I don’t know what we are going to do in the Fall revolving around school. We, as well as others, have so much to pray about. None of the decisions feel good to make. Many of us wish things would go back to the way they were but they can’t.
Today I’m trading the uncertainty surrounding my children’s school year for His peace. I’m trading fear of the future for His hope for today. I’m trading unmet expectations for His undivided devotion.
Maybe these things don’t change the outcome but they do change my perspective for today and that’s where I have to start. They help me breathe and pause for a moment. As I pray, it helps me reflect on His goodness instead of the world’s ever changing chaos.
My motto has been this year, “One day at a time.” May we take one moment, one day, and one decision at a time in 2020. 2020 has been so stressful on so many people, more than we will ever know. It’s been a crap shoot kind of year but God is in our corner. His peace is in our back pocket. May we not forget it. We will ALL get through this.
For a moment, let’s stop, pause, breathe, and pray.