Encouragement · Motherhood

Leaning In When Our Kids are Letting Go

When it comes to being a mom you have probably heard this quote,

“The days are long but the years are short.”

To be honest, I have rolled my eyes at this quote more times than I’d like to admit. On those sleeves rolled up, yesterday’s hair, and haven’t brushed my teeth yet mom kind of days, well this is the last thing any of us want to hear.

Some of you are in that mommy boat right now. You are in the trenches. Thriving yet surviving at the same time whether it be getting through potty training or trying to understand why your toddler just had a temper tantrum in the middle of Target. I know this feeling. I have been there and I see you!

I’m in this new, weird season of motherhood. My kiddos are getting older now and those “trenches” days feel more and more behind me. There is more of an emotional pull I now wrestle with rather than how physically tired I used to be from chasing them. It feels as if they need me less and less.

I can feel my kiddos letting go because they are growing up. It’s a part of the journey but I guess I didn’t realize how fast it would all fly by.

My husband always reminds me to do something when I begin to get in a slump. He kindly encourages me with his half grin to take a 10,000 perspective of whatever I am internalizing at the time. As we do this we are able to look at our current situation from an outsider’s view rather than what is happening right in front of us. The key is to remember that your reality may stay the same as you do this but your view of your reality can shift.

As I take that time to journal from a 10,000 perspective, I am made aware of a different outlook of my season.

Yes, the kids are getting older and they need me less physically but now they need me in a different way. They are more self sufficient now but emotionally my kiddos need me now more than ever. I have two in second grade and one entering high school next year. Wowzers! These guys need us to teach them about character, about bullying, about kindness, and about girls and how to respect them. They need us to show them what responsibility looks like and show them why obedience matters even as they get older. These values will carry them into adulthood.

They need me still, just differently now.

Maybe you’re a young mom and you’re exhausted. I salute you my friend. I have been there. My season isn’t any easier, it’s just different. Our kids are changing and evolving every day. Motherhood is beautiful in that way. We are all on this journey, all in different stages trying to keep our kids on the right track.

Maybe you have a teenager entering college next year or you just had your first baby. These days. The mundane moments matter. If you get a chance today, stop and take a 10,000 perspective of where your kiddos are at and take a look at your motherhood journey. Remind yourself how much of an impact you are making in your kiddo’s lives right now at this very second. Even it looks like preparing breakfast, making a PB& J for the 1,345th time, or dropping off your kiddos at football practice.

Believe me, some days I feel like a bus driver. It can be tiring but I know these mundane moments in the car matter with them. I am reminding myself the conversations we have in the car matter and it’s a great time to connect with them in transit.

Our children are changing and growing rapidly. Sure enough the annoying saying may be true but I think it’s more important to ask ourselves, Are we willing to push ourselves to be close to them as they are letting go and growing up? Will we make the time to connect as they get more involved in extracurricular activities? Will we lean in, show up, and do whatever it takes to be there for them even when it gets hard?

This is where I am at and the questions I am asking myself on the daily.

My youngest Josiah loves to play games so I try to make it a point to play UNO with him after school. He loves this and I love watching the satisfaction he gets when he beats me. Look at that smile!

My oldest loves to dance so we make hilarious dance videos together. It’s completely embarrassing for me but I want to do whatever it takes to connect with him at his age even it means me putting myself out there.

My middle, Makai loves legos. When he asks if I want to play with him I try to prioritize the time to do this with him. I can see how much he appreciates when I do take the time to engage with him in something he loves.

Our kiddos are growing up. FAST! Yet, they still need us. Let’s lean into this truth today and look at our influence in parenting from a 10,000 ft. perspective. We can do this. Let’s go all in.

What does leaning in look like for you? How do you connect with your kids?


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