I’ve been a mama for five-and-a-half years now. Raising both biological and adopted children has taught me so much about openness, respectfulness, and the importance of one’s story. I know full well of my own story and what life has taught me but at times I can’t help but carry the weight of my children’s stories. I can’t help but feel protective over their little lives. After all it’s what most of us moms do best. We can’t help it. It’s in our nature to want to protect our cubs.
If I am being honest, I can get carried away with worrying about my boys. I worry about Makai’s future and his tender personality. I worry about Josiah. I worry about how his story and his identity will affect him later in life. I can create scenarios in my head and let my mind run wild if I’m not careful.
We’ve always been open and honest with to our boys about life, adoption, and people in this world but I can’t help but worry at times. Even the other day, Makai told me with tears in his eyes that there were a few boys who were picking on him at school. With Kindergarten approaching this scares me.
I want nothing more than to protect my children from possibly feeling hurt, frustrated, or confused with whatever life may throw at them but I know I can’t. I heard someone say once, “We can’t protect our kids from everything. Both our adopted and biological kids. We can only create a safe environment for them to come heal in. A safe place where they can come talk to us in about anything and everything. We are not even responsible for their faith. We can only lead by example.”
This was a challenging and encouraging statement for me and I still hold to it dearly to this day. You know, we can’t speak for what our kids may endure in the future. We may not be able to protect our children from what they may hear, experience, or feel but we can be certain that in our home there is a place full of safety and refuge for them. In our home there is love, honesty, and no condemnation. In our home they can lay down their hurts and losses. In our home they can come with their hopes and wins.
We can lead them into what a relationship with Jesus looks like but we are not responsible for it . We CAN create an environment full of Jesus’ love and compassion and let God do the rest. We can trust that God has our children’s hopes and their futures in His hands (Proverbs 16:9).
As I type this I feel a sense of relief. I hope as you read this you feel it too. Be a safe haven for your children. Lead by example, love tenderly, and fiercely. Be honest, be open and tenderhearted. I can only imagine our children will be stronger because of it.