Sweet mama friend, if you are reading this then you get what it’s like to raise little people. You know the ins and outs of motherhood and you are most likely in the thick of it. We could probably spend hours at a coffee shop chatting and sharing stories about our children. We would laugh about the funny things they say and the messes they make. We would share our sweet mom moments and shake our heads about the early morning meltdowns. Oh, the the list could go on.

Motherhood didn’t always come easy for me. I had to learn how to be an effective mom and it didn’t happen over night. I am still learning. With Kindergarten approaching I’ve been reflecting on the past five years as a parent and came up with a few tips that helped me. They were learned through trial-and- error and with the help of other mom friends. Are you ready? Okay, let’s start….

1.) Ask questions and remain teachable. When I was pregnant with my first child, I spent hours researching about raising children but nothing prepared me for the real thing. Every age came with new challenges and scenarios so I continually emerged myself in parenting books, blogs, and reached out to mamas with older children.

For example, when my boys were two years old I spent many hours on the phone asking questions to a mom of older boys and she encouraged me so much with potty training and discipline. If you are feeling stuck or stumped as a mom, simply ask questions. Learn, remain teachable, and ask others what helped them. We need all the help we can get right? Podcasts have been my newest go to to glean from. GOD CENTERED MOM and MOM ON PURPOSE are my two favorites. Seek ways to learn and grow in motherhood. I promise it will make the biggest difference!

2.) Don’t Mom alone. Being a mom is hard enough, but doing it alone can be one of the worst feelings in the world. We need the support of friends to get through the hard parts and to celebrate the good stuff. I have felt lonely in motherhood but what changed was when I sought out friends to do motherhood alongside with. Through these relationships, I have developed confidence, encouragement, and my kiddos have developed long-time friends. Your community may change over the years but don’t mom alone. Fight for these friendships! Text a friend on a bad day or call a friend to tell them the hilarious thing that your child just did so you can laugh together about it. We need each other!

3.) TAKE CARE OF YO-SELF! Taking care of ourselves plays a huge difference in how we parent. Deep inside after a long day of mothering many of us crave an uninterrupted shower and alone time. I will never forget when my boys were two years old, I had an older mama offer to take care of my boys once a week for a few hours so I could run errands, take a shower, and do things for myself. I was a little resistant at first, but when I took advantage of this opportunity I realized how much I needed it.

I was able to have time to read (by myself), shop (by myself), and feel like the old “me” again. I came back as a refreshed and happier mama. What does taking care of yourself look like? Does it mean scheduling a date night, dropping your child off with a friend/ mom’s morning out program or enjoying a craft/ hobby during nap time? You have value apart from being a mom so take care of yourself and don’t give up on it!

I feel so encouraged by you and the fact that I don’t have to do this “mom thing” alone! I’d love to hear from you! What tips have helped you become an effective mama?