Encouragement · Friendship

3 Ways to Develop Friendships in a New City


I was with a few of the my girlfriends last week enjoying Mexican food and I felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude. I felt so grateful to be surrounded by an amazing group of women. We were having a heartfelt conversation and I was quickly reminded that God had answered a huge prayer of mine; a prayer for deep-rooted friendships.

I remember moving to Asheville around this time in April of 2015. I was completely shocked by the intensity of not having a community around nor the amount of family near by. It was a big change of reality for us, even our kids.

I began to pray for new friends but not just new friends. I prayed for those deep-rooted kind of friendships. I desired the the ugly cry- you can come over to my dirty house- I can tell you anything- kind of friends. I prayed and prayed and prayed for this for months.

If I am honest, at the beginning I expected friends to come to me and felt frustrated because my prayers weren’t being answered. I realized friendships weren’t going to happen on their own. I had to essentially get over myself and get out there, so what did I do? I got off the couch and made it happen. Here are a few things that helped and I hope it helps you!

  • Go to parks, the mall, coffee shops, or a church with the intention of meeting people. For me, I knew that my fellow mamas would most likely be at parks so I went to so many different parks during our first couple of months in Asheville.  I bravely introduced myself to many women who probably thought I was crazy but if I got their number I considered it a success! I can now name a few friends of mine that I have met while out and about.
  • Be a part of local stuff happening in your area. Sign up for the newsletter on maccaronikid.com or read your local newspaper. This will lead you to new opportunities to meet new people.
  • Be the friend that you wanted to have. I love this tip that I got from a close friend of mine. (I love you Jen!) She said that when she moved to places she would boldy be the friend she wanted to have. She would invite women over that she would meet and initiate conversation. I love this!  I think in order to develop those deep-rooted friendships it means sharing openly and honestly about life. It looks like going out of the way for one another. It means offering to help each other; serving one another or initiating play-dates and time together

Deep-rooted friendships in general take time to develop. These kind of friendships take dedication and willingness to evolve. Many of you have experienced the hardships of moving and finding a solid community.

It can feel like a rude awakening but it can also be an opportunity to grow.  I had to get over myself and take the initiative if I wanted friends. A lightbulb went off for me, when I realized It was time to take ownership where God had planted me. I exchanged my self-pity for boldness and as time went by I started to develop and find dear friends. I was blooming where I was planted.

These types of friendships are a gift from God and they don’t come by easily. If you are struggling to find and develop friends in a new city, I encourage you to bring your desires to the Lord. Ask him to guide you and to present new opportunities to find these friends and then be the friend that you want to have!


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